Tick (I'm here) Marks

January 10^th

I don’t really believe in making New Year’s resolutions.

We have 364 other days in a year that are equally as appropriate for evaluating ourselves. You know – comparing where we are now to where we want to be.

I think if you really want to make a change in your life, you make it. You don’t need two new numbers at the end of month/day/year (or for Togo – day/month/year) to coincide with the new efforts you’re implementing to be the best version of yourself.

HOWEVER.

After just a few days of this New Year in Togo, what I’ve come to realize is that what people use January 1^st for, I have been using the other transitions in my life for. I would evaluate myself and make personal adjustments on expected occasions of change within the year.

At the start of a new semester: What did I want to change from the previous semester? What do I want to get out of these classes? Are there ways to be a better student? If so, what are they? What’s my life like outside of school? What do I want to change about it?

At the start of a new job: How is this job different? How is it the same? What does my work say about me? How does this contribute to my future? Do I have any idea what that future should be?

Moving into a new place: How does this affect my budget? What do I want my room to say about me? Is this a place I can work? Live? Just sleep? What’s the roommate situation?

After a big accomplishment: So I biked 4,000 miles. Now what? What’s the next experience that will make me feel that way? I ran a half. Am I ready to train for a full? I went vegetarian. It failed. Why? What did I learn? I graduated from college. WHAT THE F DO I DO NOW?!

Transitions.

Since, for the first time, there don’t seem to be any lurking within 2014, I guess it’s time to practice my way with hypocrisy and do some of my re-evaluating right now. With (gasp) this New Year.

I get it now. The New Year is a transition. Maybe not a personal one. I mean, those digits aren’t changing on my behalf. But still one I can take advantage of.

So, to follow-up on my last blog post about my fear of 2014 being a lost year…

I was afraid my first year without transitions meant my first year of no change.

But. To live is to change.

Just because the tick marks on the timeline of my life are becoming fewer and farther in between than they have been in the past, does not mean I have to experience less personal growth.

In fact, I’ve decided that a year of no change may bring with it the chance to discover who we really are.

Without the distractions of new places, new people, new life stages. Without the endings and all the new beginnings. We find ourselves. standing . . . still.

Able to take in what’s around us. To learn what we respond to without being forced to respond. To learn what initiatives we take without being forced to take initiative.

It’s true that learning how we adapt to new situations and overcome new challenges teaches us something about ourselves.

But learning how we are without those opportunities,

Learning how we are when we can just . . . be,

That, I think, tells us more.

So, while I’m standing still:

I resolve to treat this first year of consistency as an opportunity – as a chance to make habits.

To work on the person I want to be while I’m in between the tick marks.

To take this year of living in the same place, with the same job, with the same people and make it the 

best it can be.

I will take these next 12 months and commit myself to my service as a volunteer.

To really focus on cultivating relationships with people in my village.

To ensure that every effort I make regarding projects and community education contributes to a bigger whole – to an overhead, streamlined attempt towards behavior change and sustainability.

To really take advantage of the level of cultural integration I can achieve by living in a foreign country for a complete year.

To not let that excuse of “being in a foreign country” prevent me from doing things I find value in back home. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle by eating right and exercising. Being autonomous. Establishing boundaries. Standing up for myself.

To learn things that I’ve only ever told myself I would. Guitar. Yoga. Indian cuisine.

I also resolve to be consistently conscious of how each of my actions contributes to who I am and the life I want to lead.

And to continue reflecting and making changes on the other 364 days of the year (Well, now 355). Just like I always thought I’d been doing in the past.

For those of you with changes coming within the year, take advantage of them. It’s practically inevitable that you’ll learn something.

For those of you like me, starting a year of consistency, resolve to make it the best it can be. You may be standing still, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be learning something.

Also, don’t just go through the motions. Be cognizant of all the efforts you put in to each day. Only then can you continue evaluating and changing once this New Year has passed like all the others.

By being conscious of where we are daily, disregarding all the major transitions, only then are we made aware of our progress towards where we want to be.

Here’s to embracing the space between the tick marks,

Koumealo